Coffee is ALWAYS the answer - it's not supposed to be the problem!

I'll admit it, I'm tired.  This last week was exhausting.  I ran a half marathon, we had a HUGE inspection at work that took up a ton of time and effort.  I'm just tired.  And there's nothing wrong with that, life happens.  We all get tired and cranky.  The problem is when you're a single parent and you're tired.  Who do you turn to?

In my house, we're at the stage where there are no longer naps - this is very sad as I miss naptime with B.  Instead there can be 'episodes' we watch and depending on how tired I am is deeply correlated with how long she gets to watch and how many she can watch.  But it is what it is.  As long as nothing comes between me and my coffee I'm much easier to deal with.

Then there was Saturday morning....I was working on my laptop in bed when some crazy idea formed in her head.  I still have no idea what possessed her but she decided to take the pillow out from behind me without letting me know.  While taking the pillow out she proceeded to hit my coffee mug which hit the floor and shattered - with coffee still in it.

Seriously, ya'll I thought I was going to lose my mind!  You do NOT come between me and coffee.  I have never seen the child move so fast to clean up a mess in my life!

I can say it was hard - I had to work through the anger.  Seriously, it was my coffee!  At least it wasn't a good mug.  I held it together....barely.  Once she cleaned up the mess, I sent her to get dressed and we headed outside.  I knew if we had stayed inside it would have NOT been good for either one of us.

But we survived.  And we have endured another week of hills and valleys.  Another week where nothing goes as planned and it leaves us both exhausted.  But we have survived and we will be better for it.  That's all we can ask for.  That's all we can do....wait no from now on we will also have our coffee in spill-proof and non-breakable containers - at least for the safety of the child.  Now that's all we can do.

RAK Half Marathon in the Books!

Self-care is hard.  Self-care while being a single parent can be even harder.  The idea of training for a half marathon is daunting.  The idea of training for a half marathon while being a single parent is even more of a daunting task.  But, as I proved yesterday, it can be done.

Training takes support.  Training while raising a child on your own takes even more support.  So I ask my village for help.  I schedule training for when she has her gymnastics classes.  I use the treadmill when she's sick.  I do what I can to accomplish my goals.  When I accomplish my goals I show her that she's capable of those things as well.  That's why we need to do self-care.

Parenting is about showing our kids the type of people we want them to become.  We show our kids that caring for themselves is just as important as caring for those around you.  Just like setting goals and hard work, self-care should be a part of life.  A life that makes you and your child just as happy as anything else.

So when I got home from running my 4th half marathon - still surreal to say that - I was tired.  My body hurt.  So we sat on the couch.  She brought me a pillow, a blanket and snuggled me in.  When the pizza was delivered, I realized there wasn't any sauce for breadsticks, so she poured marinara in a bowl and brought it to me.  I love my child.  I love that she is so thoughtful and understanding about my goals.

To me, that's something I've done right.  She's amazing and I appreciate it and her.  She has an ability to be understanding and know what you need before you know what you need.  I needed this half marathon.  I needed to know that I could do it without hating myself and the world.  So now I'm better and she's better.  Goals come and go but love and understanding will stay, hopefully, until the end.

Balance

We're 6 days into February and I'm struggling with balance.  The balance of work, freelance work, raising my daughter and training for the half marathon.  It's not easy and I never have claimed it would be but for some reason, it's really super hard right now.  I'm guessing it's because we're having a big inspection at work and it's making the staff a bit crazy.  But that doesn't seem to be it, at least not all of it.

This is probably the best description at this point.

It could be the limbo I'm feeling.  I really want to write full-time and make money doing it. But I also want to be a decent mom to my daughter, in the Middle East, when the current head of the US is making it hard for the Arab people.  It leaves me feeling lost and wondering what each day will bring.  That's definitely not something I need from the world around us.

So I wonder, I wonder if I'm doing what's right for my daughter.  I wonder if she's getting everything she needs from me.  I wonder if the US will still be standing.  I wonder if relations will take a change for the negative that may affect my job.  I just wonder over and over again.

And all this wondering leads me to re-visit my faith, my vision board and my daughter.  Because I have these 3 things I know we'll be ok.  I know that life is going to have hills and valleys and that, in the end, we'll be ok.

But being ok isn't good enough anymore.  I want to be good or even great.  I want to be ecstatically happy with all parts of my life.  So I'm working on it.  I'm working on all of it.  I even established my goals for Declare It Day 2017.
1.  I will run at least 900 miles (I hit 100 last week).
2.  I will make money through freelance work.

The plus is that I've been making some money here and there with freelance work.  But in order to make the life that's best for me and my daughter I have to do more.  I've sent in copies of the first book and now am doing the waiting game of publishers.  But I'm moving on.  I'm finding balance.  I'm working on trying out new recipes - 2 last week and the child liked both!  I'm still working on a sugar-free lifestyle.  Sometimes the balance is what you need to make everything good again and good will always turn into great!

Single parenting when your kid is sick....

I'm lucky.  I have a village that helps me take care of her.  I have friends that take her and care for her, and if we're honest, better than I would if it was me who was home.  I just don't do well when she's sick much less sick for this long.  There are some people on this earth who are made to care for sick kids and people in general, come to find out I'm not one of those people.  Instead, I am one who has an agenda that I like to accomplish everyday.  When I can't accomplish those tasks I get irritated and it has nothing to do with her, it's my personality.  But more important right now is that she's sick and I'm stuck.

I'll admit it, the last week has been rough.  My little one has been sick - running a fever and then starting to cough.  I thought she was over it so I let her play all weekend and wound up coming back with a fever yesterday. This is when single parenting sucks.  I'll be honest, it really and truly does.  I can't take leave or I won't get paid and I'm not in a position where I can afford to not get paid.  I have no other income at this point and I have no partner to stay with her.  So what do I do?

This is those times that a partner can make all the difference in the world.  These are the times where being a single parent is just hard, especially when you live outside the home.  There's nothing you can do but wait on your child to feel better.  There's nothing you can do but wait and pray you're doing what's best for your kid.  That's the only choice you have.  But you always wonder if it's the best choice and if there was anything else you could do.   You will always second guess yourself and wonder - what if?  

Blogging Concerns, Questions, Thoughts....

As we've now covered the halfway point of January, I'm looking my goals and trying to focus.  Every year I have goals I want to achieve and every year I get lost.  So this year I have a plan!  Of course, it's January so we'll see how long this plan works but it is all I can do.  The plan is laid out the following way:

1.  Set goals for this year.
2.  Set time frames for goals.
3.  Work towards goals.

Simple right?  Well, it sounds so much easier than it is.  But I'm working through it.  The first step was sending out query letters.  Right now I'm waiting on some editing notes and then I'll be able to send the query letters out with the books. I want to send the non-fiction to an agent while trying to get the other one published quickly.  Why you ask?  I want to start an income coming in.

Making an extra income writing is my goal.  I want to work from home and I want to have the flexibility to be with B at any given time.  So getting my books out there is a key step.  The next step is making an income off the blog.  I know it can happen but I don't know how.  So the research will start this week.  This week we will be able to gain some information so that I can work towards my dream of staying home.  The hardest part of this plan is to find information that makes sense to me.  (In other words, if you know anything please let me know!)

The next part of the plan is getting a bigger hold on my budget.  So B and I made budget binders yesterday.  I was able to help us both organize our finances into binders.  Today she gets paid for doing her chores and will start to keep track of her finances.  Since she can be the banker in the game of Life, she can be her own banker as well.  I think this will help both of us as we can work together towards the common goal.  Each day she learns more about life and goal setting the better off she'll be, at least that's my thought.

Week 1 with Tinder

So I've survived week 1 on Tinder.  I didn't go on any actual dates, it's really intimidating.  I did go to happy hour with friends which was nice.  Being able to be an adult with no expectations is pretty awesome.  I definitely need to work on this more often.

I will say that I now understand why friends say that Tinder is good for the ego.  If you haven't worked on Tinder before then here are a few basic steps.  You upload some pictures of yourself and then you get matched with people in the area.  If you swipe right you 'like' if you swipe left you 'don't like'.  Seems simple right?  Except what if you swiped left on someone you may consider swiping right to on a different day?!  A little stressful but it works out.

Overall besides being told I'm pretty and men doing their best to make conversations it's been not all that interesting. This is why I dislike dating, especially when you don't know one another.  The small talk gets old, I want to have a full fledge conversation with someone who is real and direct.  I want to know exactly what that person is thinking and desire.  I know, I know, it comes WAY after the first few dates which is why I suck at dating.  I really like to have it all figured out and wrapped up by the time I've met them for a 2nd date or so.

Someday it'll work out.  Someday I will be able to give B a positive report.  For now she keeps asking when I'm going on a "love" date.  In her mind, I will meet someone, get married and have a baby.  "Because that's what people do."  So we're working on her perception of what people do and the expectations she has.  It's a process, like all parenting it but hey, if she can learn from me, then she'll be better off later.

Tinder and Dating as a Single Parent

So the child has decided I need to start dating.  Seriously, she has been on me for months and I've avoided it for one reason or another.  I'm just not the type to want to date.  I want Mr. Right to materialize in front of me as part of everything I need him to be.  That's all.  I know what I'm looking for, can't he just materialize?  So far, that hasn't worked.

The other day, when she has once again brought up the conversation of dating and the fact I need to go on some dates, she adds "Isn't there an app for that?  You can check the app store."  OH MY GOD.  Seriously!?!?  My 7-year-old is telling me to go to the app store to help find dates.  First off, there are apps for that but second, SERIOUSLY!?!

So last night I was curious, I'll be honest, I've played on #Tinder before but this time I'm going to try to take it a bit more serious.  I know I don't want to meet in person face to face but who knows.  Maybe my next Mr. Right is on there and I wouldn't have known if my kid hadn't pushed the issue.

New Year - New Ideas - Old Foundation

I love the beginning of the year, just like I love the beginning of the week.  You're given an opportunity to start again in each of these.  Each week, you get a chance to live a better week than the week before.  You get a chance to have new choices which can change how you live.  The New Year isn't any different.

Every year people make resolutions to do things from being healthier aka lose weight to becoming more financially fit.  Each year people make goals that change who they are.  Very few people look at the foundation they have and move from there.  Very few people look back on what they've learned and adjust from who they are to who they want to be.

So who you do want to be?  When you look in the mirror, who do you want to see?  On January 2nd, 2018 I want to see someone who is out of debt, 1-year sugar-free, 800 running miles completed and happy.

Those may sound like small goals but I know I will struggle with them each and every day. And I'm ok with that.  I want the struggle, I know I have the foundation to be who I want to be.  Now I need to build on that, not ignore who I am but become who I want to be.  Each day, I get an opportunity to have the day I choose.  And now, I'm taking full advantage of that.  I will be able to take each day as a new opportunity to build upon myself.  In building myself up, I build my daughter up.  I show her what it's like to love yourself and have the life you want to live.  And no matter what, I will be amazing.

How to Live a Good Life

I just got off a webchat with author Jonathon Fields, who wrote the book How to Live a Good Life.  The book discusses the 3 buckets of life - Vitality, Contribution, and Connection.  I can honestly say I didn't realize how low all 3 of my buckets had gotten.  Now that I know, I also realize what I need to do to make them full.

But it's not just about me, it's about making sure my daughter's buckets are filled too.  She's 7 and the world is constantly changing around her.  Sometimes the expat life makes it hard for her to feel a connection.  So it's something we're working on.  Part of that work is taking her back to the U.S. this Christmas.  She feels connected with her family, my job is to then help her connect with them again.
Expat life is hard for adults, being a child who is finding their way through the world is even tougher. Each day I wonder if I'm doing what's best for her, especially when her buckets are low.

This is where single parenting gets hard.  I know I carry around more guilt because it's just me and I have no one constant in my life to process the information and concerns with.  There is no one as dedicated to her well-being as much as I am.  And that's ok but it makes me more aware when she is hurting and struggling.

So here I sit, wondering what our next steps are.  How can I fill her buckets and mine?  How can I find the spark that makes both of us truly happy in our lives that we've built.  And I'm working on it.  Each day I work a little more and find out a little more about what we need.  But where does it go from here?  How do I actually give her a "good life"?

For now I'm working on me and trying to help her too.  It's not always easy and it's not always fun but I'm hoping to make her the person she needs to be to make the world a better place.  That's the only thing I can do.

NaNo Kicked My A&$

I know it's been awhile!  Life had been super exciting with the first podcast interview in October and then I jumped into NaNo Month.  For the month of November, I worked on a novel, something I've always wanted to do but hadn't had the chance.  The month of November is set aside as a month of novel writing.  Ideally, you hit 50,000 words in the month and can publish a novel.  Sounds simple right?

Have you ever tried to write 50,000 words in one month?  On the same topic?  I can now say I have and it's definitely not easy.  Halfway through I switched stories so now I have two half finished books, one I had previously worked on which I'm not editing and a website and blog that has been extremely neglected.  But it's ok, because that's life.

Writing has been keeping me busy, which is a big win in my world.  The other part of life, B keeps me busier than I want to admit.  Between her gymnastics and keeping her social life intact, we've been busy.  Yet, now that it's slowing down, it's nice.  We work hard to just hang out and work together, which is good as there's another big event coming up for us....I've signed up for another half marathon.

Half marathon training is a challenge, as a single mom it's a bit more of a challenge, at least for me.  There are only so many miles I can do on the treadmill without going stircrazy.  Plus I like to run in the morning and not all of her friends are into early morning playdates.  So we do what we can.

Since she's my main training partner, as in she gets to pick my crosstraining regime and decide some of that stuff, she is really involved in the training.  Friday was a perfect example, we had a variety of activities going on and I needed to get 6k in.  The only way to do it was outside, she jumped on her bike and we made loops around the apartment complex.  It worked, not sure how many times it'll work but for now, we do what we need to do.

First podcast

Life should be about living on the edge, right?  Well, I, at times, take that to the extreme.  For example, moving across the world with my 3 year old.  Most people would NOT have picked the Middle East but I did and we'll forever be better for it.  Taking this into consideration, I was asked to do an interview for a podcast...so I did.  Here's the link http://www.fourseasonefamily.com/4s1f-blog/2016/10/23/4s1f44-people-need-to-be-treated-as-people - I had a great talk with James Thomas the host and really enjoyed the experience!
Here's to learning to say Yes and enjoy the experience, no matter what your thoughts were first!

That's ok...

Let's be honest, the parenting thing is great and horrible all at the same time.  Each time I get the developmental stage figured out she moves to a new one.  How does that happen?!  I figured out the baby stage, she started to walk - figured out the toddler years, she went to preschool - figured out the preschool thing and she started school.  Now she's almost 7 and totally independent!  She has her own thoughts, her own interactions, this past summer she traveled halfway around the world with friends to spend 3 weeks with her grandparents...without me!

And now there are little to no more cuddles, there isn't time she needs me.  Instead she's hanging out with her friends, she is working on her iPad (Minecraft obsession currently) and working to complete chores around the house so she can buy the things she wants to buy.  Let's be honest though, where does that leave me?

That leaves me redefining myself.  It's meant the last few months I haven't been blogging.  Instead I've been working on freelance projects and writing a couple books that have been on my mind.  Instead I've been working on me, myself and what the future holds for us.

And it's ok.  It's ok that she wants to be her own person.  It's ok that she is able to do these things by herself.  It's ok that I want to find out my next stage of life.  It's ok that I'm growing and changing.  Do you know what makes it ok?  She's sitting here, working on her iPad as I write this.  As much as she doesn't need me, she still wants to be with me...and that's ok.

Thoughts from Outside...

It never ceases to amaze me that people who live in similar environments can still be so different.  One thing I’ve found as I’ve lived overseas and traveled around the world and even around the United States is that really, people are the same.  They want the same things.  They want a family who loves them.  People who remember good things about them and a place to call home.

That being said when you have discussions about viewpoints of people and the judgment styles of people, this is where we are very different.  For example, I have found that the Irish seem to be the least judgmental people I’ve encountered.  Being from a very Catholic country it would seem that it would not be the case.  It would seem that anyone who was different would be considered an outsider but that’s definitely not the case.  Instead they, as a whole and yes I’m being stereotypical from those I’ve encountered, believe that people should live their life and have equal rights.  It’s not a judgement thing, it’s a person thing.  It doesn’t matter if someone is gay or transgendered, they’re a person. 

This whole process of living in the Middle East while an election is going on in the United States.  One that has really only seen hatred and bigotry at this point makes me incredibly happy that I have chosen to raise my daughter outside of the United States.  At one point the U.S. tried to tell others we had freedom and people 

were equal but the more we look into history we find that it is not the case.  Men and women are not equal.  Black and white are not equal.  The government still holds the most cards and really people may think they are free but they don’t seem to be.  They are heavily influenced by the media and what those around them say.  The media has not helped the population, instead it has made it a population that cannot think for itself.  It would seem that the population of the United States takes everything on the TV and internet as truth and does no research on it.  They seem to have no idea how to have their own opinions. 

The media celebrates people who do things that are outlandish and show bad behavior while criticize those who are looking to help others.  Gain equal rights to all and just be good people.  Protecting a child while they are in the womb is a priority but making sure that same child lives in a home where there are people who love him or her, food, clothing, and a safe place to rest their heads is not the priority.  Instead they are criticized and ridiculed.  People are given shame instead of help.  When they ask for help they are often denied if they can’t “work the system” and the cycle continues. 

What would happen if we looked outside our box that is the U.S. and really looked at those places that value people?  What if we looked at countries who have no idea that ‘black’ may offend some people but would never think to use it in a derogatory way?  What if we choose to smile?  What if we choose to volunteer?  What if we choose to stop and enjoy the sunshine?  Would that be how to make America great again?

April is almost over and what have I done?

It's true, April is almost over.  I'm not even sure what I've accomplished at this point.  I mean, honestly.  I did get the website up and running.  I've added twitter, facebook and instagram but I have yet to get a paying job through this.  I know it's coming but it's a struggle.  Each and everyday it's a struggle.
I do envy those people who get child support at times, I mean it would be amazing to get some financial support.  But at the same time, I see the heartache it puts the kids through.  There was just a post in one of my groups the other day that they hadn't heard from the dad since January and now he wants to make visitation arrangements over the summer.  I don't understand.  You can't just show up when you want.  I know I would struggle if that ever happened to us.
I don't think I would just hand over B to someone she doesn't really know, who doesn't keep in contact consistently with her.  It seems irresponsible and I understand why the courts do it but it doesn't make sense that they put kids' lives in danger.  This is a huge issue.  Kids are supposed to be protected and loved and cared for.  It seems that we protect them in the womb but we really struggle with protecting them once they get out.
I know the thought is that adults know what's best for kids but do they really?  Do they really have any understanding of what is best for all kids?  Do the courts?  Kids are pretty smart and perceptive but I wonder if anyone actually gives them the benefit of the doubt in these things.  I don't know.

Spring Break Part 2 - Abu Dhabi Staycation

Spring Break as a staycation without having to stay on one's own place is pretty amazing.  It was a change to not fly anywhere and just fill up the Jeep and drive to the city.  For those who don't live in a larger city like Abu Dhabi, having the opportunity to enjoy a city is pretty remarkable and one we took full advantage of!

We ate and we ate and we ate!  But more importantly we played!  Abu Dhabi is full of beaches and water sports and we were able to take full advantage of them!  We spent a full day at Al Bateen with B's Auntie.  What a lovely beach!  It was quiet with plenty of parking and space to really just enjoy the weather!

Then we spent two days at Yas Waterworld!  Now we, as a single mom and child of 6, love this park.  The lifeguards are pretty amazing and we are both able to enjoy the rides.  There is nothing like having your daughter drag you around the waterpark to go on slides and tube rides and everything else they have to offer.  She was so excited!  She is just getting tall enough to be able to enjoy all of these rides.  Plus now when she's in the wave pool she is able to go deeper then ever before and has no desire to use the tube.  We were able to jump waves, she learned to body surf.  All makes for an amazing adventure!

The week really did fly by with all the activities.  But we also were able to make some new dishes and work towards just being active and enjoying our time with friends.  Each and every vacation should leave you with wanting more, not being overdone with it but by leaving a good taste in your mouth.  And this one most definitely did!

Spring Break...The Beginning...in Abu Dhabi!

Spring break...every student's dream...every teacher's midyear meltdown...every parent's nightmare.  It sounds like a great idea to travel and take your kids away for a week.  Then you realize every other person who has kids is thinking the same thing.  So what should you do?

Well we did the perfect combination...we did a staycation/citycation.  What is that you ask?  We had a friend in the city of Abu Dhabi who was leaving for the holiday so we borrowed her flat (let's be honest, she offered and for that I am eternally grateful).  The flat is centrally located, we have friends close by and there's the beach.  The best part of the whole thing is that we weren't the only ones who choose to stay close by so we're not alone.  We have friends to hang out with!

So far we've been to Gateway Park North on Yas Island (I highly recommend it as there is like no one there.)  What a great way to start, on the drive in we stopped at this park to ride bikes and hang out with B's Auntie who lives in Abu Dhabi.  I found this park via Abu Dhabi Striders and Real Housewives of Abu Dhabi (http://realhousewivesofad.com/).  And we had a fabulous time!  It was relaxing, well maintained and just a great place to unwind from the drive.

From there we headed to settle in and get ready for dinner....

Dinner on Friday night in Abu Dhabi is easily done in a variety of ways.  But when you have a total of 5 adults and 3 kids it's good to get a place that takes reservations and is able to provide food for hungry children.  We were fortunate enough to find El Sombrero (http://www.elsombreroabudhabi.com/).  So we made reservations and were set to see what All You Can Eat on a Friday night was like.

Friends were concerned that we wouldn't be happy after the recommendation and what we found was that...it was awesome!  The kids were well fed and happy, the adults were able to enjoy unlimited beverages.  Everything was handled well by the staff, the food was fantastic and so were the drinks!  It was definitely the best way to start Spring Break after a long and grueling 2nd trimester.

Dreams do come true!

The best part of single parenthood is that your world revolves around your child.  The worst part of single parenthood is that your world revolves around your child.  Although I've found there are time that this a very good thing and the other day was most definitely one of them!

I had bought B a new bike for Christmas in the hopes that she would want to join me in my runs.  She had told me last year "Mom, running is your thing.  It's not my thing and that's ok I have my own thing.  Maybe when I'm an adult it'll be my thing."  Ya know I was ok with that. She's pretty honest about her thoughts and I could totally get behind that thought process.  But she likes to ride a bike and this bike is big enough that we can do some mileage and we both benefit!

So on Friday morning I took her and her bike to the park and gave her the option of playing in the park or riding next to me while I ran (says the woman who likes to wear earbuds and listen to podcasts as she runs).  So we started on our way...about a quarter of a mile in, she pulled up next to me and talked to me while I ran.  Oh how I love this child!  She just talked the entire time and seemed to enjoy the ride.  She even plans on joining me next week!

Meditation is hard!

Ok so on the path of being more "awesome" this year (thank you Kid President) I have started the 30 day Meditation Challenge via DoYouYoga.com (I highly recommend this site for all of the instructors as they are fabulous!)  Anyway, so as I'm trying to figure out myself - as this is the year of me - I want to try meditation.

I'll be honest, I totally got the idea about meditation through Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert.  I will also admit, I saw the movie first but then I had to read the book...and then I read the book after that, Committed which is definitely a book to read a you contemplate marriage and relationships, but I digress.  When Julia Roberts goes to India to Pray she learns some invaluable lessons about herself.  She learns two important lessons, the first is that she is never in control until she lets herself go.  She must let go before she is able to throughly be at peace with her choices, with her love, with herself.

The part of the book that discusses meditation is key and just as influential as places such s the Mayo Clinic which describes meditation as:  "Meditation can wipe away the day's stress, bringing with it inner peace."  Yet the way it is described and shown within the book and movie makes me want to dig deeper into meditation and taking control of my own thoughts and abilities. So here I am in the midst of the 30 day meditation challenge and its hard.  I know I will make the 30 days as I feel extremely committed and I firmly believe in the research that shows the increased benefits of meditation but I just wish it was easier.  I'm only involved with 10 minutes of meditation a day but I have problems focusing and keeping it together for that time period.  I know that at one point Elizabeth Gilbert is able to sustain her meditation and get to the point that you hear about from people who have practiced meditation all over the world.  I have faith that one day that group will also include me but for now it doesn't.  And that's ok as I still have my running.

Happy New Year! Welcoming in 2016....

The new year is a time for resolutions and re-inventing one's self.  People around the world are deciding if they want to make this the year of getting fitter, eat cleaner, start a business, etc.  Each year we start he year by having a desire to reinvent one self but we really never get to that point.  If we start by thinking we need to start from scratch then we get stuck.  On the other hand if we take what we already know about ourselves and say "Yes" we may have a different outcome.  

Shonda Rhimes wrote a book "Year of Yes".  

This book describes the changes that are made by just saying yes.  Yes to all parts of life that are good for you.  Say yes to things that scare you, say yes to things that make you better.  Stop telling yourself no.  The more we deny ourselves the more we find we crave all that we wanted.  So say yes.
I think @melcharbonneau said it best "Remember, it's a new year, not a new you.  You were already awesome...this year your'e just going to be more awesome."  This is all about saying yes and being awesome!  Instead of focusing on the negatives of yourself and who you are, look at the positives and go for it!  For example, I make people feel good about themselves, I listen well.  But what else can I say about myself?  I can list all the negatives - too much grey hair, too many muffin tops, arms are flabby...yes I can keep going but that's not the point.  So this year is my year of yes.  I've already started...I'm writing my blog and am hoping to make it more consistent.  I started the year by running 2 miles, part of the Run the Year 2016 challenge.  I have a race scheduled for next Friday - ok that totally came up due to a bride's wish to run before her champagne brunch but a race is a race.  I am choosing to look at portions and trying to figure out how to balance what I like to eat and what I should be eating.  But I'm saying yes to being healthy and helping my daughter be healthy.  Now to say yes to being ok with my ups and downs....

I survived...I mean WE survived....

First trimester has been difficult to say the least.  Between work which has included multiple co-teachers, inspections and figuring out new students it's been a bit crazy.  Add in that I've begun writing blog posts for ESL101 (see my links at the bottom) and deciding what I want to do next it's been a bit crazy.

My poor daughter has born the brunt of all of this chaos and has taken it like a champ.  As a parent we always complain about our kids but at the same time we love them unconditionally.  She has stood by my side even through my crazy stress levels and a desire to try to work a bit more to do what I can.  And she has been amazing throughout it all.  My little girl is growing up and there is nothing I can do about it except love her the best way I can.

She is doing so many things that I can be proud of!  She has gotten perfect scores on all of her Spelling Tests and her Math Tests.  B has shown she loves to learn and my job is to love her and help her grow.  So how can I help her grow?

My daughter is being homeschooled so that she can work at her own pace and do what she needs to do.  This is a child who at age 6 (not even a month into it) she is able to read chapter books with ease.  Teach herself math at her own pace and work well ahead of her age peers.  So I let her go.  I let her learn and become her own person.

Today she started writing a book.  She got up this morning and began to write.  I started to read it and was told "No, it's not finished.  I'll show it to you later."  My 6 year old is writing a book that is already multiple pages and paragraphs.  I hope she continues to grow and stay a caring, kind person.

Now we are heading into the holidays.  The time where greed comes into play.  In our house we work on giving and spreading kindness.  This year we have introduced Elfika our Elf on the Shelf.  She is showing B that kindness is key as well as helping out around the house.  It's a process but B LOVES every aspect of Eflika and looks forward to finding her everyday.

As we go into the holidays I do what every parent does and worry about money and time and making sure it all works out.  My only goal is that the magic stays in the holiday season.  Ideally we keep this magic of kindness and giving throughout the year.