Coffee is ALWAYS the answer - it's not supposed to be the problem!

I'll admit it, I'm tired.  This last week was exhausting.  I ran a half marathon, we had a HUGE inspection at work that took up a ton of time and effort.  I'm just tired.  And there's nothing wrong with that, life happens.  We all get tired and cranky.  The problem is when you're a single parent and you're tired.  Who do you turn to?

In my house, we're at the stage where there are no longer naps - this is very sad as I miss naptime with B.  Instead there can be 'episodes' we watch and depending on how tired I am is deeply correlated with how long she gets to watch and how many she can watch.  But it is what it is.  As long as nothing comes between me and my coffee I'm much easier to deal with.

Then there was Saturday morning....I was working on my laptop in bed when some crazy idea formed in her head.  I still have no idea what possessed her but she decided to take the pillow out from behind me without letting me know.  While taking the pillow out she proceeded to hit my coffee mug which hit the floor and shattered - with coffee still in it.

Seriously, ya'll I thought I was going to lose my mind!  You do NOT come between me and coffee.  I have never seen the child move so fast to clean up a mess in my life!

I can say it was hard - I had to work through the anger.  Seriously, it was my coffee!  At least it wasn't a good mug.  I held it together....barely.  Once she cleaned up the mess, I sent her to get dressed and we headed outside.  I knew if we had stayed inside it would have NOT been good for either one of us.

But we survived.  And we have endured another week of hills and valleys.  Another week where nothing goes as planned and it leaves us both exhausted.  But we have survived and we will be better for it.  That's all we can ask for.  That's all we can do....wait no from now on we will also have our coffee in spill-proof and non-breakable containers - at least for the safety of the child.  Now that's all we can do.

Single parenting when your kid is sick....

I'm lucky.  I have a village that helps me take care of her.  I have friends that take her and care for her, and if we're honest, better than I would if it was me who was home.  I just don't do well when she's sick much less sick for this long.  There are some people on this earth who are made to care for sick kids and people in general, come to find out I'm not one of those people.  Instead, I am one who has an agenda that I like to accomplish everyday.  When I can't accomplish those tasks I get irritated and it has nothing to do with her, it's my personality.  But more important right now is that she's sick and I'm stuck.

I'll admit it, the last week has been rough.  My little one has been sick - running a fever and then starting to cough.  I thought she was over it so I let her play all weekend and wound up coming back with a fever yesterday. This is when single parenting sucks.  I'll be honest, it really and truly does.  I can't take leave or I won't get paid and I'm not in a position where I can afford to not get paid.  I have no other income at this point and I have no partner to stay with her.  So what do I do?

This is those times that a partner can make all the difference in the world.  These are the times where being a single parent is just hard, especially when you live outside the home.  There's nothing you can do but wait on your child to feel better.  There's nothing you can do but wait and pray you're doing what's best for your kid.  That's the only choice you have.  But you always wonder if it's the best choice and if there was anything else you could do.   You will always second guess yourself and wonder - what if?