Single parenting when your kid is sick....

I'm lucky.  I have a village that helps me take care of her.  I have friends that take her and care for her, and if we're honest, better than I would if it was me who was home.  I just don't do well when she's sick much less sick for this long.  There are some people on this earth who are made to care for sick kids and people in general, come to find out I'm not one of those people.  Instead, I am one who has an agenda that I like to accomplish everyday.  When I can't accomplish those tasks I get irritated and it has nothing to do with her, it's my personality.  But more important right now is that she's sick and I'm stuck.

I'll admit it, the last week has been rough.  My little one has been sick - running a fever and then starting to cough.  I thought she was over it so I let her play all weekend and wound up coming back with a fever yesterday. This is when single parenting sucks.  I'll be honest, it really and truly does.  I can't take leave or I won't get paid and I'm not in a position where I can afford to not get paid.  I have no other income at this point and I have no partner to stay with her.  So what do I do?

This is those times that a partner can make all the difference in the world.  These are the times where being a single parent is just hard, especially when you live outside the home.  There's nothing you can do but wait on your child to feel better.  There's nothing you can do but wait and pray you're doing what's best for your kid.  That's the only choice you have.  But you always wonder if it's the best choice and if there was anything else you could do.   You will always second guess yourself and wonder - what if?  

Blogging Concerns, Questions, Thoughts....

As we've now covered the halfway point of January, I'm looking my goals and trying to focus.  Every year I have goals I want to achieve and every year I get lost.  So this year I have a plan!  Of course, it's January so we'll see how long this plan works but it is all I can do.  The plan is laid out the following way:

1.  Set goals for this year.
2.  Set time frames for goals.
3.  Work towards goals.

Simple right?  Well, it sounds so much easier than it is.  But I'm working through it.  The first step was sending out query letters.  Right now I'm waiting on some editing notes and then I'll be able to send the query letters out with the books. I want to send the non-fiction to an agent while trying to get the other one published quickly.  Why you ask?  I want to start an income coming in.

Making an extra income writing is my goal.  I want to work from home and I want to have the flexibility to be with B at any given time.  So getting my books out there is a key step.  The next step is making an income off the blog.  I know it can happen but I don't know how.  So the research will start this week.  This week we will be able to gain some information so that I can work towards my dream of staying home.  The hardest part of this plan is to find information that makes sense to me.  (In other words, if you know anything please let me know!)

The next part of the plan is getting a bigger hold on my budget.  So B and I made budget binders yesterday.  I was able to help us both organize our finances into binders.  Today she gets paid for doing her chores and will start to keep track of her finances.  Since she can be the banker in the game of Life, she can be her own banker as well.  I think this will help both of us as we can work together towards the common goal.  Each day she learns more about life and goal setting the better off she'll be, at least that's my thought.

Week 1 with Tinder

So I've survived week 1 on Tinder.  I didn't go on any actual dates, it's really intimidating.  I did go to happy hour with friends which was nice.  Being able to be an adult with no expectations is pretty awesome.  I definitely need to work on this more often.

I will say that I now understand why friends say that Tinder is good for the ego.  If you haven't worked on Tinder before then here are a few basic steps.  You upload some pictures of yourself and then you get matched with people in the area.  If you swipe right you 'like' if you swipe left you 'don't like'.  Seems simple right?  Except what if you swiped left on someone you may consider swiping right to on a different day?!  A little stressful but it works out.

Overall besides being told I'm pretty and men doing their best to make conversations it's been not all that interesting. This is why I dislike dating, especially when you don't know one another.  The small talk gets old, I want to have a full fledge conversation with someone who is real and direct.  I want to know exactly what that person is thinking and desire.  I know, I know, it comes WAY after the first few dates which is why I suck at dating.  I really like to have it all figured out and wrapped up by the time I've met them for a 2nd date or so.

Someday it'll work out.  Someday I will be able to give B a positive report.  For now she keeps asking when I'm going on a "love" date.  In her mind, I will meet someone, get married and have a baby.  "Because that's what people do."  So we're working on her perception of what people do and the expectations she has.  It's a process, like all parenting it but hey, if she can learn from me, then she'll be better off later.

Tinder and Dating as a Single Parent

So the child has decided I need to start dating.  Seriously, she has been on me for months and I've avoided it for one reason or another.  I'm just not the type to want to date.  I want Mr. Right to materialize in front of me as part of everything I need him to be.  That's all.  I know what I'm looking for, can't he just materialize?  So far, that hasn't worked.

The other day, when she has once again brought up the conversation of dating and the fact I need to go on some dates, she adds "Isn't there an app for that?  You can check the app store."  OH MY GOD.  Seriously!?!?  My 7-year-old is telling me to go to the app store to help find dates.  First off, there are apps for that but second, SERIOUSLY!?!

So last night I was curious, I'll be honest, I've played on #Tinder before but this time I'm going to try to take it a bit more serious.  I know I don't want to meet in person face to face but who knows.  Maybe my next Mr. Right is on there and I wouldn't have known if my kid hadn't pushed the issue.

New Year - New Ideas - Old Foundation

I love the beginning of the year, just like I love the beginning of the week.  You're given an opportunity to start again in each of these.  Each week, you get a chance to live a better week than the week before.  You get a chance to have new choices which can change how you live.  The New Year isn't any different.

Every year people make resolutions to do things from being healthier aka lose weight to becoming more financially fit.  Each year people make goals that change who they are.  Very few people look at the foundation they have and move from there.  Very few people look back on what they've learned and adjust from who they are to who they want to be.

So who you do want to be?  When you look in the mirror, who do you want to see?  On January 2nd, 2018 I want to see someone who is out of debt, 1-year sugar-free, 800 running miles completed and happy.

Those may sound like small goals but I know I will struggle with them each and every day. And I'm ok with that.  I want the struggle, I know I have the foundation to be who I want to be.  Now I need to build on that, not ignore who I am but become who I want to be.  Each day, I get an opportunity to have the day I choose.  And now, I'm taking full advantage of that.  I will be able to take each day as a new opportunity to build upon myself.  In building myself up, I build my daughter up.  I show her what it's like to love yourself and have the life you want to live.  And no matter what, I will be amazing.