This is probably the best description at this point. |
It could be the limbo I'm feeling. I really want to write full-time and make money doing it. But I also want to be a decent mom to my daughter, in the Middle East, when the current head of the US is making it hard for the Arab people. It leaves me feeling lost and wondering what each day will bring. That's definitely not something I need from the world around us.
So I wonder, I wonder if I'm doing what's right for my daughter. I wonder if she's getting everything she needs from me. I wonder if the US will still be standing. I wonder if relations will take a change for the negative that may affect my job. I just wonder over and over again.
And all this wondering leads me to re-visit my faith, my vision board and my daughter. Because I have these 3 things I know we'll be ok. I know that life is going to have hills and valleys and that, in the end, we'll be ok.
But being ok isn't good enough anymore. I want to be good or even great. I want to be ecstatically happy with all parts of my life. So I'm working on it. I'm working on all of it. I even established my goals for Declare It Day 2017.
1. I will run at least 900 miles (I hit 100 last week).
2. I will make money through freelance work.
The plus is that I've been making some money here and there with freelance work. But in order to make the life that's best for me and my daughter I have to do more. I've sent in copies of the first book and now am doing the waiting game of publishers. But I'm moving on. I'm finding balance. I'm working on trying out new recipes - 2 last week and the child liked both! I'm still working on a sugar-free lifestyle. Sometimes the balance is what you need to make everything good again and good will always turn into great!
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