I survived...I mean WE survived....

First trimester has been difficult to say the least.  Between work which has included multiple co-teachers, inspections and figuring out new students it's been a bit crazy.  Add in that I've begun writing blog posts for ESL101 (see my links at the bottom) and deciding what I want to do next it's been a bit crazy.

My poor daughter has born the brunt of all of this chaos and has taken it like a champ.  As a parent we always complain about our kids but at the same time we love them unconditionally.  She has stood by my side even through my crazy stress levels and a desire to try to work a bit more to do what I can.  And she has been amazing throughout it all.  My little girl is growing up and there is nothing I can do about it except love her the best way I can.

She is doing so many things that I can be proud of!  She has gotten perfect scores on all of her Spelling Tests and her Math Tests.  B has shown she loves to learn and my job is to love her and help her grow.  So how can I help her grow?

My daughter is being homeschooled so that she can work at her own pace and do what she needs to do.  This is a child who at age 6 (not even a month into it) she is able to read chapter books with ease.  Teach herself math at her own pace and work well ahead of her age peers.  So I let her go.  I let her learn and become her own person.

Today she started writing a book.  She got up this morning and began to write.  I started to read it and was told "No, it's not finished.  I'll show it to you later."  My 6 year old is writing a book that is already multiple pages and paragraphs.  I hope she continues to grow and stay a caring, kind person.

Now we are heading into the holidays.  The time where greed comes into play.  In our house we work on giving and spreading kindness.  This year we have introduced Elfika our Elf on the Shelf.  She is showing B that kindness is key as well as helping out around the house.  It's a process but B LOVES every aspect of Eflika and looks forward to finding her everyday.

As we go into the holidays I do what every parent does and worry about money and time and making sure it all works out.  My only goal is that the magic stays in the holiday season.  Ideally we keep this magic of kindness and giving throughout the year.

Visitors and what we can learn from them...

I love having company!  Company means new adventures or sometimes even old adventures that are new again because you get to do it again!  The opportunity to have friends or family share the adventures that you get to do as everyday part of life is what makes the whole process exciting!  And that excitements makes the old normal things new again!  We love showing off our 'home' country.

And that's one thing to share - this is our 'home' country right now.  We no longer call the US home, at least it's not where we keep our things or do our everyday activities.  The US will always be the part that started us and began us but currently the UAE is our home.  And this home is important not only to myself but to the development of my daughter and her future.  Having the opportunity to share this with friends and family is part of the great gift we get to share.  We get to break the barriers of the Muslim world with the Western World as these are two very different worlds and that must be taken into account.  Yet as different as they are they are very similar in many ways.

These two worlds believe that family is important.  They believe that people are important.  They believe God/Allah is important.  They believe that happiness is part of daily life.  These are things we share.  These are things we believe.  In each case we have a different way of approaching it and how we see it.  That's ok.  We each believe that someone else is different but then we see that we are all very similar and that's a plus too.  We see that people just want the same things and both of these worlds help show that.

Having our visitor the last week reminded me of all of this.  Our visitor was from the US and on each trip learns a little more about the culture we live in.  Each time they go away surprised but pleased on identifying new attributes of this already great nation.  I am grateful for everyone we get to share this with.

Huh - maybe I am doing something right....

Surprise surprise this was a crazy busy long weekend.  Although we didn't find out about it until Sunday (my workweek in the UAE is Sunday through Thursday) we made plans for the extra day.  Thursday we headed to the beach.  She was bummed that she didn't have any of her friends going but her Aunty joined us and that always makes her happy.  Plus she ended up finding a friend!

As the weekend progressed she didn't get to hang out with any of her friends but she did get to do a special date with her Aunty (they go to Starbucks and Mom goes for a run) and with me.  I would say I am not only pretty happy to hang out with her but she's a pretty good kid.  We spent the weekend running around Abu Dhabi and then Dubai trying to get things done and do the shopping we don't usually do.

And ya know what?  My kid has gotten cool.

Serious!  She'll be 6 next month but wants to just window shop.  She's just as content about playing in the store as she is at home.  We can wonder around a mall for a few hours and she's happy.  She asks questions like an adult and contemplates the answers.  She thinks before she asks the next question.  She is just cool to hang out with.  And better yet she shows gratitude on the things that are done for her.  I no longer have to remind her to say thank you.  She does it!  She says please when talking to someone.  She will ask the questions to the clerk (as long as I'm close by).  Overall my kid is cool.

I found out this weekend that when I'm over the shopping and running around it's not because of her.  It's because I'm tired and cranky and sick of running around.  If she's telling me she's hot - guess what it's because it's hot outside!  If she's tripping over her shoes - she's tired.  And she's learning how to tell me that!  She actually thanked me for the weekend and for running her around all weekend.  She didn't even complain she didn't get to see any friends!  We had these crazy conversations that made me realize she pays attention to EVERYTHING!

The problem is that this means she's growing up and if she's growing up there are some things we lose.  We lose the extra snuggle time.  We lose the holding hands in the stores and the mall and when we're just walking.  We lose the carrying her around.  But I'm finding I'm gaining this person who makes other people's worlds good again.  I'm gaining the ability to have a conversation with her and see the world from her eyes.  And that's ok.  I'm actually totally ok with it.

I think maybe I'm doing something right after all....

But I don't want to run!!!

The final "F" - fitness.  The easiest and hardest part of the 4-F challenge for this school year.

I became a runner about 4 years ago now...give or take.  Once my daughter was born I needed to drop the baby weight once I started nursing.  I turned to walking and then running and I loved it!  I was able to get into a rhythm and even trained and ran a 15k, a half marathon and a 25k.  It was an amazing part of my running.  And then things changed...I did my rest period after the 25k, I stopped running for a bit.  I finished my 2nd Master's and then found a job overseas.  I took my 3 year old and flew halfway around the world....and stopped running.

We were living in a hotel for over a month and I had a new job to start and figure out what to do with my 3 year old in this new country.  It was definitely not a great time to run or do any physical fitness that didn't involve my daughter.  So I did what I could.

After a few months we were able to get settled in and I began to run again.  I tried to up my mileage and go back to the fitness level I had been...without the prep time.  I got injured - I was in a new country - on new surfaces - and old shoes.  Totally not the best combination for running again but you see I have a runner's personality.  So I kept running.

The following fall I had trained for a half marathon - my first international race - and although my foot was flaring up in pain I wanted to compete and refused to switch to the 10k.  Should have switched to the 10k as my 10k time was like 1:05 - I rocked it.  I won't even share what my half time was as I had done a 25k in that time a year and a half before.  I couldn't walk - I puked (and now everytime I go for a run she asks if I'm going to get sick).  It was a horrible experience so I took some time off of running.  I am moving to the 1 year anniversary of that race...my mileage is low and almost non-existent but I'm walking instead.  The weather here is still in the 100s over the day so the goal is start running during my daughter's gymnastics once it gets cooler.  It's just too hot at this point.

But let's be honest I hate the treadmill and that's why I haven't been running as much - 30 mins is about all I can handle on the treadmill.  So I've switched to walking and doing the hills on the treadmill in the morning - adding in circuit training and strength training a couple days a week too.  It's not that I need to run - ok I've been running long enough to know that it IS a need but I need to know my limits too.

So this weekend I have an appointment with a podiatrist to try to get my feet fixed.  I just want to run without pain again.  This is my fitness plan.  

Family - How to make it through the holiday transition with gratitude.

Kids, kids, kids...they run our lives without us even knowing it.  Yet we wouldn't trade it for the world.  I know I love my daughter through and through but she has a habit of taking over my life and not quite understanding boundaries, I love her with all my heart.  Now that doesn't mean I don't get upset with her or let her know that there are some things mommy needs to do with her.  There are lots of things we do together and one of those things is getting ready for the holidays.

We are now in the swing of things for the school year so the next step is the holiday season.  Add in a birthday and this becomes a high money time for me and a super exciting time for her.  The problem with her is that with this excitement her ability to be gracious and sweet and the child that is thankful for everything is difficult to find.  So what to do?

The first thing we do is stop doing the extras - we stop seeing friends for at least one day, we stop decorating, we just stop.  And this usually doesn't take long to help sink in but sometimes it takes longer.  So we work on reading stories and finding information on people who need help and find ways to help them.  My daughter will go through her toys and shoes at this time of year and donate them.  This does help and that's a good start.

My goal for my daughter is to help her be a good person.  Thankfully I don't have to worry about grades or her happiness level but I do have to worry about her being continually thankful for the world around her.  This and the ability to build relationships are the most important parts of family to me.

Food is more than for thinking about...

Alright let's be honest it's the beginning of the school year and I'm trying to balance being back in the country, working full-time and changing our food routines.  So what do we do now?  How can I convince my child and myself that adding vegetables into our diet is good?  So I just did some research and began using an app that I found early last summer (PepperPlate).  I will say I'm a huge fan and totally endorse this!

The first step to trying to figure out the food was deciding what we needed to work towards the "clean" eating that is the ultimate goal.  But I'm going to be realistic, we're not perfect and I don't see us ever being perfect when it comes to food and that's ok.  Food is just a part of life and one that we must help control and not let it control us.

Once the research on what food to start with was done...it was time to start using recipes.  Each recipe is full of the "good stuff".  And we've found some we like and some we don't....and my daughter definitely lets me know if she likes it or not!  So we keep working and working....

Money, Money, Money

As summer comes to a close...well at least our summer holidays...I realize that this is a good time to take a look at our (read my 5 year old and mine's) finances.  To say this is depressing would be the understatement of the 21st century at this point!  But alas, I will get a better grip and the goals will be realistic as well as free flowing because let's be honest, I'm a single mom and a shopaholic so I need to be realistic.

The first step is to decide what my financial goals are.  And it must be specific.  And within a time line.  (Are you seeing the background of writing IEP goals over the last decade?)  So I know I want to get out of debt.  How should I go about it?  What needs to happen to make this occur?  Well I'm a fan of Dave Ramsey so my plan is to follow his procedures.

Step 1: $1000 emergency fund.
    Had it, spent it and don't have all of it left.  As of right now I have about $700 left....I think.  The problem with living in 2 countries is I split things so my cash emergency fund is at home in the UAE and the rest is in my checking account.  So this is my guess.

Step 2: Do a BUDGET
    What is this?  Only the scariest thing in the world!  It means I have to plan out my money and I can't just spend on randomness, this is a work in progress....seriously.  I've been doing a budget for a few months but I am pretty consistent at going over.  Now the key is getting my daughter on board.  Not always the easiest but we've been discussing it and she seems to be on board....here's hoping she and I can figure it out.  But I'm using www.everydollar.com by the company Dave Ramsey runs.  This program is great and free so it's helping me get organized.  Plus there's an app - it just is a bit difficult using the 2 currencies...

Step 3: Start a Debt Snowball
   What is this?  Dave Ramsey describes this as putting the debts in order from smallest to largest (except the mortgage) and paying them off from there.  I can honestly say I have paid off 2 cards at this point...many more to go but I believe this is helpful.

So that's where I'm at. I'm working with the budget and doing what I can with what I have.  It's a process but one that will help us accomplish the rest of the goals in our life.

4-F Upgrade 2.0

The 4-F's 

Family, Finances, Fitness and Food 

Every year life changes...with change comes a new outlook and goals.  This year the goals include the 4 F's (fitness, food, finances and family).  Why choose these?  It's time to get a grip!  I've been giving advice on all these areas but haven't put my "money where my mouth is" up to this point.  So now it's time to put it all out there...well at least in writing at this point.  

The joys of living overseas is that the advice that is given (when looking at US websites) are for those that live in the US and are able to obtain those resources.  Well, not all of us are able to do that for one reason or another.  My case is that I live in the Middle East and no I'm not talking about the Middle of the East Coast in the US, I mean outside of Abu Dhabi/Dubai in the United Arab Emirates.  This makes my lifestyle a little different but still in need of an upgrade.  So upgrade it shall...once I get off of holiday and back home (the joys of living overseas is that I spend 5-6 weeks on holiday in the US every year so right now I'm enjoying my holiday time).  

But what is the first step?  Each of these areas are HUGE and can and will overwhelm any one person...much less an entire family.  So I'm using the rest of my holiday to break each area down into manageable goals.  Will it be easy?  No.  Will it be fun?  Not necessarily.  Will it be worth it?  Yes, yes it will.  When my daughter goes through life without debt.  When I finish my first marathon and triathlon.  When I am able to completely vacation without credit cards.  When food isn't a constant struggle.  This next year will set it all up so that I can accomplish this and change my future as well as my daughter's. 

So the next few posts will describe how each of these areas will be accomplished but lets look at what the goals are before we figure out how to get there.

1.   Family - this year we'll just plan on having 2 meals a week without electronics.  Sounds easy right?  Well there are just two of us so it's a bit harder than it looks.  And of course I'll add to this especially in the area of chores and consistency of expectations and schedules (yep - I may be a teacher but I truly fail at this in my own house.)

2.  Finances - get out of debt and start savings to accomplish my long term goals.  (So much to say here but I'll leave that to another post but please know I firmly believe in this and want my daughter to have a different financial future than what I currently live).

3.  Fitness - to drop my 5k to under 30 minutes, my 10k under 60 minutes and my Half Marathon (13.1 miles) to 2 hours again.  (I was close if not at these goals two years ago but now need a lot of work to get it back.)

4.  Food - get off sugar and on to clean eating.  (This may sound lofty but I firmly believe I can accomplish this but will need support throughout this - and yes that's part of the plan.)

That's it - that's the whole goals.  My goal is to put together an action plan for all of these and document it.  It CAN happen and it WILL happen but there are going to be problems and reality says that'll happen and it's ok.

“The voice inside your head that says you can’t do this is a liar.”

— Unknown

Read more at http://womensrunning.competitor.com/2015/08/nyc-running-mama/16-running-quotes-to-motivate-you-for-your-next-run_44620#gF34jeI67QoDVtgC.99